* bitbitupset *

Hmms.
Xin's abit upset today.
Felt kinda threatened.
It's not as though I could help being so.
*sighs*
Oh wells. Finally, gradnite shopping's ended!
First time ever in my life, I get so sick of shopping!
Hehs.

My torture's ended! Hehs.

`if only I can do something about the situations in my life . . . if only I could be not so useless . . .

* =D *

Happy day.
Went find Jer.
*BIGBIGGRIN*
Hmms.. Slacked ard, watched 'timeline' on tv.
Nice show.
hmms.. Den went his mummie's shop to dye n do hair.
Wus so so so so bored.
'Cause no one really talked to me!
Was alrdy starting to monologue myself.
Ha..
OH wells.. Love my hair nw.. though i still look ugly.
*blehs*
OH! Here's a BIG THANKYOU to my dear!
Fer making todae such a happy day :) *muacks*

*YAYNESS!*

Yayness!
I'm almost done with my graduation nite shopping!
Bought my gown and earrings today.
Got a nice necklace lers.
Just left with the heels.
Its gona be rather tough.
'Cause I am very particular about heels.
Heex. *grins*

`lalala.. I did sth fer u todae.. =D

*SICK to the stomach*

XIN'S FEELING SICK TO THE STOMACH!
but jer's ignoring me :(

*melancholyfeelingsnow*

Hmms. Today's a boring day.
Went CWP to meet flor.
Showed her the nice heels and clutchbags.
But she haven made up her mind abt them yet.
Went to pick out this very nice gown fer her to try on.
Ha! My taste all along very gd de.
It looks so nice on her.
Making her look so glam.
Its oni 140!
Hah. Its worth the price.
But nahs.. nt fer me.

Wus packing my rm.
Came across some old photos.
Taken years back.
Such a sad feeling came over me.
*sighs*
WHY CAN'T EVERYTHING LAST?!
*sighs*

`i only want a simple life; a simple me, a simple you.

*Great Day out with VON*

Today's a great day!
Wus intending to stay home de.
But von's enthu-ness got to me!
And knowing me,
I CAN'T RESIST TEMPTATIONS!
hehs. Brought my sis along as well.
Met her at wdls ctrl.
Then brought her to eat some yummie-licious but cheap food.
Wus glad that she liked them.
Was kinda worried at first.
Oh wells. Went causeway pt after tt to window shop.
'cause I am pathetically BROKE.
URGH! I need a job.
hmms. Window shop wus nice.
Went to try on prom dresses.
I really love the white halter.ithinkitlooksniceonme!=P
Hehs.
I saw a nice silver pointed heels.
N silver clutch-type bag which is worth 138bucks.
Nahs. Not fer me. Suits FLor more.
Went bought some more nice food 'cause we got kinda hungry again.
despite eating alot earlier on. wearebigstomachpeeps.
After which we continued walking n walking.
Finally found some teeshirts tt von lykes.
Von tried to tempt me to buy tt black shirt tt I picked out.
Oh wells. But too bad, though I can't resist temptations myself.
I'm usually forced to succumb to circumstances - being broke.
OH! We took nice neoprints too!
~lalala.. its been so long since I last went into the shop.
*BIG SATISFIED GRIN* I truly enjoyed my day!

`whenyoutrulylovesumone,
thethingsthatyouwlddoferhim/herisbeyondimagination.

*smiles*

Had a nice day with Jer's company.
*smiles*
But my freedom lasted fer less than a day.
Sorry Jer.
Oh wells.. I'm so weak that I can't do aneting abt the situation.
This sucks.
BIGTIME.

Can I pose a qn?
To anyone whu reads my pathetic blog about my pathetic life?
Who really understands me?

*STRESS NO MORE!!*

~lalala..
My stress ends tml!
FOREVER!
argh.. stupid gu n fei!
*hmmphs* evil people!!
Oh wells.. Going kbox tml! =D
hmms.. wanna share sth here.. =)

Think about this.
You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.
1. At least 2 people in this world love you,
so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone,
even if they don't like you.
4. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
5. You mean the world to someone.
6. If not for you, someone may not be living.
7. You are special and unique.
8. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want,
you probably won't get it,
but if you trust God to do what's best,
and wait on His time,
sooner or later, you will get it or something better.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever,
something good can still come from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you,
take a look - you most likely turned your back on the world.
11. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.
12. Always remember the compliments you received.
Forget about the rude remarks.
13. Always tell someone how you feel about them;
you will feel much better when they know and you'll both be happy.
14. If you have a great friend,
take the time to let them know that they are great.

ohwells. Gona go off lers. My torture is goin to end in less than ard twelve hrs time=DDD*grins*

*Economics NO MORE*

Hehs.
Yups, I will be free from Econs tml!
Yayness.
but I'm kinda worried.
Hmms. I just wanna pass nicely.
No need fer As or Bs or even Cs.
I wldn't mind a D. *grins*
Really! That's all I asked for.. so jer, don't have high hopes on me!
OH wells.. I better get going! :)

`it's been so long time since we last talked. Even though the conversation wus short and redundant today, I am glad in some sense that we're talking again.

*200th Post*

So fast.. it's my two hundredth post lers.
Been thinking alot.
I shld really do sumthing abt the situation now.
Oh wells. No turning back fer me.
'Cause that would be hypocritical.
I'll just...

the big As are ending.. woohoo~

*Happyhappyday*

Forgive me for being so proud of myself..
I just feel lyke exclaiming..
PHYSICAL GEOG IS DARN EASY TODAY!!
*grins*
I was smiling to myself the moment I flipped open the booklet lahs.
*happyhappy*

Hmms. That's about it for the "high"ness of my day.
My day went on a downhill the moment I parted with gene n flor.
The giddiness in me got very bad..
Just felt lyke fainting anytime.
Must have scared the people ard me on the train.
They've got such worried looks.
Hehs.
OH wells.. I'm feeling much much better after vomitting vigorously.
Urgh..the stomach acid tastes sucky.
*bleahs*

Oh wells.. Hope I'll be better tml..
'cause I intend to go KBOX-ing tml.
Urms..no, my exams doesnt end tml..
But no one says I canot enjoy myself in the midst of exams.
*grins*
Urgh.. the giddy spells are back.
*bangs head on the wall*

`dissociative amnesia..? why didn't he come clean with me? it's not incurable.. it's not an abnormality.. you're still normal.. =/ *prays hard*

*seeing the last of Maths*

Can you feel the joy in me?
Yupyups. I might be seeing the last of maths EVER!
Not that I hate maths, but 'cause I think I have got quantophobia.
Heex.
Oh wells. Gene just told me that there might a moderation fer today's maths paper
'cause apparently alot of ppl from different jcs found it hard.
Okay bahs.. Think I can pass it nicely this time round.
*smiles*

OH OH! I saw this gorgeous gown at lot one today.
It's no normal gown; its my DREAM gown =D
But too bad, I can't buy it..'cause it's a wedding gown.
Hehs. But stil, I am very high over it!
*hyperventilates*

`so happy fer dennis.. =D happy burfday ryan!! =D

*Drinksday*

Today's Drinking Day.
Hah. Ok.. I don't really drink.
But I am meeting my long-lost frens fer dinner,
den hang ard at sum pub, I guess.
Hmms. Oh wells.
I just got addicted to this new song of Joi Chua.
"yong yuan de yu ren"
Direct proper translation: forever a fool in love.
You all shld go have a look at the lyrics.
It speaks of me.
haha.
Oh wells.. Nidda go prepare to go out lers.
Buhbye!

`i m only human; i need more than occasional hugs . . .

*misssinginganddancing*

Hmms. Today went over to find Boyfren.

Slacked around then go watched Frostbite with Boyfren, his bro and his bro's gf.
Urms. Quite a ridiculous show.
And it doesn't have english subtitles!!
Poor Boyfren..
Oh wells. It's a good comedy if you wanna see it from another perspective.
Hehs.
Oh !! I wanna watch this cutely-named show!!
Its called "BOO" !!
It's so cute-sounding but urms..its a horror for ur info.
I WANNA WATCH IT SO BADLY!
haha. Oh.
And SAW3 too!!
my favourite!! i wana watch it with him:(

Hmms. Did some maths.. Gonna do more later.
I feel like MIA-ing from the world.
Just be all alone sumwhere.
Funny right?
Someone like me thinking such tots.
Abit weird, I know.
I think I would feel extremely lonely.
And awful 'cause the emptiness in me.
Haha. Perhaps, I can't stand it.
Hmms. I will try..
starting when the clock strikes midnight...sounds so fairytale.
BUHBYE WORLD.. =D

`I am but a gurl with just a simple wish..

*One Subject down*

GP's finally over.
Didn't think that I would fare fabulously well.
It wusn't tough.
I just had a hard time thinking and concentrating todae.
What the hell is wrong with me?!
I shouldn't be letting ANYTHING or ANYONE affect me at this important moment of my life.
Haish. *kabish*
Was pretty quiet for the whole day.
Didn't feel like toking to anyone in particular.
Maybe him?
Oh wells... I will cheer up!
Will not care about anything else besides my exams right now!! :)

`today finished watched Goong.. Sooo nice!
"dunno since when you invaded my heart and occupied it forever..."

* IT"S TOMORROW!! *

Yups. It's tomorrow.
Hmms.
Thanks to all who haf wished me and for all the encouragements.
Really thankful to . . .
BOYFREN ;)
Esther Toh fer her nice starry mms *melts!*
Flor fer being with me thru it all.
Boon fer being tolerating all my complaints and nonsense.
Yupsyups. Got alot of ppl to thank...
Wanna thank my gdgd frens too.
thankyew :junhao,weelun,eric,ryan,ebo,suxian,helmi,kokpeng,AHLong,mrpiggyyap,gene,joey..

All the best to all =D
We can all do it!
Just Believe;)

* ARGH!! *

*exasperated*
My brain is dead from all those hours of studying.
Today, saw my darling broke down.
hais. look what stress can do to us.
Causes FLOODING..
N flooding will lead to the formation of flooplains, leeves and calls for river management policies..
Hehs. Paiseh paiseh.. Studied too much geog le!
Hmms. Oh wells.
I really can't wait till the end of exams.
By then, it will be ME being too busy fer ANEONE.
HA.
I feel kinda pathetic right now.
WHY DOESN'T ANYONE HAVE TIME FOR ME AT ALL?!!
sobsobsob.
*exasperated* someone kill me pls...

* Sixteen days till the end.. BUT one day till the beginning*

Yups. the Big As is just a day away.
But it's oni sixteen days till it all ends.
Being sumone as ambitious as me,
I have had my post-As schedule quite fully booked.
Hah.

Oh wells..
Recently, I am feeling invisible again.
Nahs. No spelling mistakes..
I N V I S I B L E
Hais. Sad but true, ya?
I really don't wish to fade into the background.
*shrugs*
I just needed . . . . . .

FLor gave me this quote . .
"marriage can take a backseat - just as long as romance is behind the wheel."
I still don't really get her.
Hahs.

`Saw3 is coming out soon. I'm watching it alone.

*Amunching Race 2006*

TADA! BEST JC2 TEAM EVER!!
SHAHRIN, EUGENE n CLEMENT
ZOOMED IN :
indeed... Black is touching Gene's sensitive spot>.<

And finally one photo with our dear facilitator, GORDAN =D

Amunching Race '06 was a totally different experience from 05.
I actually participated in the race with FOUR GUYS.
Actually, FIVE -- adding in my facilitator, Gordan.
We started off later than aneone else.
And, helmi sprinted out of sch the moment we decided to set off.
HIS SPEED o.O"
I tried catching up but within abt four hundred metres or so,
I was totally out of breath.
The guys had all seriously forgotten that they had a gurl on their team!!
Hah. The places were easily found and all.
But its the running part that wus.. urms.. how to put it..
AH! A KILLER!!
Running thru citylink mall wus the worst lahs.
I used to run thru that path everyday during work.
But today, the air con seemed to be extremely cold.
Cld feel my lungs, my stomach contracting lahs!!
But amazingly, helmi, black and kingkong sprinted lyke hell as usual.
Later then they complained of chest pains.

Funny things happened along the way.
Quite alot of "cockups".
Haha. But we still managed to get third bahs.
BUT!! we cld haf been the WINNER!
that's a bigbig point!!
We cld haf been a winner if this year's race wus a true amunching race.
This year.. sadly to sae.. wus all about how capable you are of cheating.
Not pinpointing aneone.
But, seriously, tink of it, it is "humanly impossible" to perform THAT well.
Okay, enuff said.
I still think we are the BIG WINNERS anyway.
*grins*
I had fun
though the food wusn't great
and though I nearly died. running.

Alrights. Updating abt sum other stuffs.
Just now, I wus tidying my room.
Came across some old stuffs.
My old diaries and alot of old letters.
haha. Read thru abit.
Brought back some memories in some sense, I guess.
I think I am the only one who rmbs memories that no one actually takes note of.
It wld be surprisingly sweet if someone does. =)

`Iknowthesemightjustendallofasudden..Iwillbefine,Ihopeso.

*notsobadday*

Hmms.
I am so proud of myself today.
Did three whole hrs of nonstop mugging.
Completed maths paper and my geog revision and started on abit of econs.
Tml's amunching race!
And the most recent update wus that we are against 15/16 teams.
Oh mans.

Sianned.
Today got the urge to go find boyfren.
But guess he will be too busy for me.
And so I resisted that urge to do so and forced myself to mug on..
Hais.
Won't be seeing him anymore, I guess.

Hope that we win tml!
CONQUER THE UNIVERSE zhengfuyuzhou!!!

`I know that I was nowhere near perfect...but.. hais..

*holdingbacktears*

Holding back tears have always been an impossible challenge for someone as emotional as me.
I cry for the utmost minor stuffs.
Sometimes, even my own boyfren can't stand me.
No doubt, I am a extreme crybaby.
I never deny that fact.
Hmms. But you know what?
I am holding back my tears right now.
Sometimes, it really gets very tiring to cry n cry on.
I get tired too,
though my tear-ducts are hyperactive almost all the time.

Hah.
I get overemotional all the time.
I guess no one can stand me. not even myself.
Right now, I really wish fer someone to talk to.
Someone who can stand my tears and emotions.
Hmms. I know exams are very NEAR!
Just a couple of days away, but I am facing all these shits.
The SHITs are increasing lahs.
In sch and at home?!!
Can't I ever have some peace?
I just wanna be happy.
Haish.
Home's becoming a place that I dread most.
Sometimes, I question myself, "is this really someplace I call home?"
haha. I don't even know the answer myself.
My life is nowhere near perfect at all.
Hais.

`Ireallyreallycannottaketheseshitsanymore.
IfeelasthoughIamgoingtobreakdownanymomentsoon.

*Mondays = Restless Days*

Mondays are indeed my restless days.
Never fails to make me feel drowsy and super restless throughout the day de.
Hmms. Today's a complete waste of time.
Geog's alright. But the concepts I know alrdy.
So, basically I wus stoning away my time lahs.

Oh yarhs. WE"RE JOINING THE AMUNCHING RACE!
Haha. the oni JCs TWO team.
haha. Got me, gene, helmi, black n clement.
haha. I must be mad.
I ACTUALLY agreed to join a team with all GUYS?!
haha. Oh wells. We're so going to haf fun lorhs=D

`jealousyjealousy

*OPENHSE*

Open House wus yesterday.
It was a great BLAST!!
Hmms. I really think that the JC1s did a great job this year.
Everything wus quite wellorganised n all.
The atmosphere wus great!
Hmms. Oh yarhs!
The best part of it all, was when you really witnessed the Pioneer Spirit...
during the MASS DANCE n FUN DANCE.
I think we danced non-stop fer more than five times.
Haha. My partner wus totally worn out by the end of it.
Alvin and Guowei did a very weird but funny version of the Mass Dance.
SO cool lahs! haha.
The JC1s were all very enthu and all, inviting their friends to the dance floor.
SOSOSO HIGH.
Flor! WE shld go dancing soon!! =D

I wanna update sumthing else todae.
I had a dream last night.
Dreamt abt sumone whom I didnt think I wud be doing so.
It's a "she", so don't be mistaken.
Do i miss her?
Or isit just that, there is something holding me back?
=/=/=/=/=/=/
Okay.. got a tight schedule today.
Planned to finish all the rest of my revision by wed.
OH YA! The guys are going for AMUNCHING RACE!
It's going to be so FUN! =D

`iwantedmore.

*MUGGINGMUGGING!*

Hmms. Haven't been blogging here fer quite sum time.
Been mugging really hard.
Feeling more prepared by the end of each day's revision.
HAPPYHAPPYHAPPY!
Feel so proud of myself. =)
Jer's right.
I'm better off this way...
Yups. I'll stay strong and become better =)
I love my friends!!
Haha. Received my third gd luck charm today.
You guys rocks! =)

`given a chance, I wouldn't wanna have enemies.. But I wasn't given any.

*Curse the HAZE*

Hate the Haze.
It's worse than anything else.
Global warming is being worsened by the stupid farmers.
And the haze is killing me lahs.
Recently, I have got problems breathing lahs.
THink my respiratory system is deteriorating.
URGH!

This supposedly study break has jus began.
Am forced to go back to school to WASTE my time.
Stupid.
Seriously lahs. argh.

`Iwanalltheseshittoend.

reality unveiled

some days ago marked the day which everything seems to "shui luo shi chu".

define a perfect life.
rich family background, a perfect love life,
good looks, smart and many more.
many hope to achieve aspects of such a perfect life.
but, they always end up suffering in the end.
these people tend to be the most influential people.
when things go wrong,
they tend to be the last group of people that outsiders will blame.

they dont dare to confront their own problems.
they only whine about it-
saying that if the next time such stuffs happen again they will what what what.
but in the end,
it's all "kong kou shuo bai hua" only.

it hurts a lot.
"di sheng xia qi" to make peace with them and what do we get in the end?
hostility!!!!!!!!!
sorry for the harsh tone.
i just really hate it.
i bear grudges! at least i'm not afraid to say it, unlike others.

the first time in my whole entire 18 years of living i'm doing so and what do i get in turn?
such stupid treatment! is it worth it then?!

stupid or naive or gullible you may call me.
but , somehow, i still trust people.
i'm still trusting people to such an extent that i dont mind me being the one who's suffering in silence.
i'm still trusting people to such an extent that i cried almost every night for the stupidest stuff.

but, i guess life's not about all these SHITTY stuff.
at least there're still people out there who cares for me and will stick by me.
what other people said in the past mean nothing anymore.
i rather direct all my attention, love and care to those who will always be there.

no matter what, i'll still trust You.
i know that all men are fallible.
i know that You can only be the one who's able to give me unconditional love.

i vow to study hard.
i'll prove to them and the others out there that,
i'll shine so much for You.

i'll prove to them that i may not be able to have a perfect life but at least it's a fulfilling one - one without regrets! :)

*twenty seven days till the big A*

hmms.
This week had been rather eventful fer me.
Lots of laughters as well as lots of tears.
Haha.
Realised a great deal abt my life.
It ain't that simple to be me either.
alot of ppl seem to think that I have a great life and all.
Haha.
If only, everything is as simple as that...

`ireallyreallywishtobehappier..

=(

Sick and Broken-ed
what more can I say? hais

* Augustine's Wedding *

30 September, the most important day of Augustine's life.

He's finally married! =)

Am so happy fer him.

Morning.. Met Flor, GS, Eugene at cck ctrl.
Rushed to Northvale Condo fer the matrimony.
Nicenicenice.
The bride, qianwen, is so beautiful in her white tube gown..
Urms.. the exhange of marriage vows didn't actually touched me as much as I had tot it wud be. mine wud be different! hees.
Sneaked away immediately after the prayers fer the newly-wed, to escape frm phototaking.
Hehs. Am camera-shy mahs.
Went to sit ard during the reception before we went to get food for ourselves.

Ard twelve plus, me n flor went to gene's place fer movie.
Watched "Just my luck".
It's sooooo nice lahs.
Well, at least fer me lahs.
I really enjoyed it.
After movie, we went back sch 'cause gene left his black formal shoes ther.
Went back his place after that.
Flor went to iron all the clothes that me n gene need while I went to cook lunch.
Hung ard fer abit then me n gene went over to the condo next dr to meet the rest.
Crammed into the backseat of the car were five of us.
Plus nidda endure insentivity n mushy chats.
Poor me n gene.
Reached NUS guildhouse where the dinner will be held.
Though small, the ambience is great! On par with ane ballroom of a hotel.

Did sum ushering.. slacked ard then we went fer the dinner.
We were seated with my teacher's family frens.
Their boys are sooooo cute!!
I love the bride's gown n hairstyle!!
SO gorgeous lahs. She's wearing the nicenicenice tiara!! *envy*
Urms.. the MCs were ALRIGHT la. but the chinese translator wus sucky.
Food wus alright.

The BIG surprise of the night!!
Augustine sang a Chinese song - qing fei de yi, fer the bride.
take note: augustine can't speak proper chinese, don't understand chinese.
He not only tried to perfect his pronounciation, he also went to understand the meaning of the lyrics so tt he cld relate it well.
Isn't that so sweet of a guy?
Though it wus a great rendition, but I really applaud him fer his courage n love.
The bride wus in tears lahs.
Such a touching moment. *sniff sniff*
Don't think aneone wud ever do this fer me..=(

the night wus great.
except fer sum stupid disturbances here n there.
Lucky gene's ard.
But I really wished that Jer wus there lahs.
He would be able to handle everything.and that bastard wud hafta stab himself with the fork lahs.<br> But.. hais.. I jus dun wanna be part of the "when the present meets the past" headlines lahs.
N oh ya,
matt's hair caught fire while we were all up onstage fer the last toast.

Reached home real late n totally worn out.
Am still exhausted now.
But it's finally over.
Oh wells.
Congrats to the groom and best wishes to the bride den =)

*More pictures=D*

Here are some PHOTOS OF THE YEAR.
Some of my favourites, taken this year.=)
My Love -- Icecream Puffs. *yummielicious*
PRF -- full attendance =D my loves =)
You jump, I jump.. * my darLing & baba *
Such a sweet sweet smile *Leen on her 18th bdae*
My true love -- tangtang =D *so adorable!!*

Picture Updates =D

Today's FLORENCE SIEW YU MIN's burfdae!
My darling's so pretty and happy today.
Things were really great =D
Happy happy happy!!
*touched expression*
my darling still looks so beautiful even when she cries. *aww*
*wishing upon ICECREAM PUFFS*
that's US - PRF =D *done by me.. isn't it artistic?*
dedicated to the one whus scared of PEAs from today onwards.

** September is coming to an end **

hmms..
Ain't in a great mood today.
Still have alittle bit of disappointment inside of me.
Nahs.. it's got nothing to do with exams. have given up on my prelims ler.
Haish.
Jus feeling so xin hui yi leng.
Nvber felt lyke that before.
Haish.
Wus talking to boyfren last night.
Just cried lorhs.
Just felt so dumb.
Wus wondering why we are putting in so much effort.
Ya, true..we are not obliged to.
But the reason why we are trying so hard and all, is 'cause we really cherish the person.
Isn't it so?
Haish. I don't what to say anymore.
Am too upset.
Now, I don't even feel lyke doing what I have planned fer everyone.
Maybe I might feel much better when I go out later to have icecream.

I have found a new love!!

Just found a new love.
Aren't you all happy fer me?
okayokay.. My boyfren has been great all the while.
But yups.
I've got a new love!!
Here's a picture of my new love!! =DDD

Don't you just find him CUTE?
And he just loves xiaoliu the doggy.
He just gave me a sweet goodnight kiss.
N he jus asked cutely if he cld bring xiaoliu the doggy home.
Hehehs.
He is too cute to resist!!
AHH!!

**PISSED OFF DAY**

Exams are tortuous.
Brain-cells killing.
I have absolutely no confidence to do well at all.
Getting more and more disappointed in myself after each paper.
Feeling lyke such a failure.
Feel like crying it all out.
But no point.. I need a shoulder.
I don't wanna cry alone.
But at the same time, I don't aneone to see me crying.
Haha. Contradictory.
*shrugs*
I guess I'll find some other way to release the stress that is building up within me.
A walk, maybe.

** GOOD LUCK to everyone **

Yupyups. The long awaited ONE has arrived.
Prelims are starting tml.
Hehehs.
GP is giving the headstart.
Prays that I'll have an easy paper. prays hard..
Oh wells.. jus wanna wish all GOOD LUCK!
Hang on in there no matter how tough the going gets.
Cause, in no time..
It's PARTYTIME =DDD
Yayness.. I love parties!!!

`superficial lovers think that they have to meet to not miss each other. Being physically present is not a should-be. It's a gift... philo right? it's frm my fren's nick.

Language of Roses . .

1 Rose~Exceptional love all concentrated on you.
2 Roses~Two of us deeply in love.
3 Roses~I love you.
6 Roses~I want to be yours.
9 Roses~Love each other eternally.
11 Roses~You are the one I love most in my life.
12 Roses~Satisfactory union and mutual affinity.
13 Roses~Secret admirer.
24 Roses~Remember fondly every moment(24 hours cannot forget you).
33 Roses~Saying "I love you" with PROFOUND LOVE.
36 Roses~Feeling romantic attachment becauseyou come tome.
44 Roses~Constant unchangeable pledge.
50 Roses~This is "Regretless Love".
56 Roses~My love.
66 Roses~Successful love affair.
99 Roses~Love with understanding makes love eternal.
100 Roses~Harmonious union in a century, remain a devoted couple 'till ripe-old age.
101 Roses~No other love but you.
108 Roses~Please marry me!
111 Roses~Eternal love.
123 Roses~Free love.
144 Roses~Loving you day and night eternally.
365 Roses~Thinking of you everyday, love you everyday.
999 Roses~Everlasting and eternal love.
1001 Roses~Faithful love, 'till forever.

Oh my goodness.
I didn't know there are so many meanings.
Haha. I wanna have 1001 roses too!
Hehehs. This is no hint lahs
Who wouldn't want?
just that it wud be an utter waste of money.
OKay.. back to studying lers..

`imisshim..i dun wan missing him to become a routine..=(

* ihavenoideawhattoputasmytitle *

EMOEMOEMOEMO.
So affected by stuffs happening.
argh.
My tear ducts have been rather active recently.
Hehehs.
Jus read Zhao's blog.
Hais. Found him quite lyke the old me..
And stuffs that he's going through, is so much alike lahs.
Rweally wished he would learn to open abitbit.
if you're reading this, jus wanna let you noe that you're in my prayers..

Prelims are coming.
Hehehs.
I just wanna pull it off with nice passes this time.
THEN I'll MUG really hard fer my As.
Haha. Ridiculous thinking.

`I always don't get what I reallyreally want. That's life, I guess?

*blank*

Today's a Sunday not too well-spent.
Went to the hair salon to cut my hair.
Seriously, I've no freaking idea why I decided to cut it short.
Am kinda regretting it now.
I look WEIRD.is there any word worse than weird?
What's worse I have to go back to school tml!!
*bangs head on the wall*
Haish.

Ysd night talked to zhaoqi online.
Haish. Can't do anething much to help.
'Cause I'm unhappy as well.
An unhappy being can't bring happiness to another.
I wanna be happy again!

`even in crowds, I still feel lonely...

Saturday

It's a weekend again.
Wasted my whole morning.
Can't really get into the mood of studying at all.
Feel lyke a failure, wasting my life away...
The emptiness in me is so unbearable.
Don't like life this way.
Hmms. Might be going to Msia later, if possible.
But meanwhile, I'm going to force myself to study.
I know I hafta.
It's not a choice anemore.
I'm MIA-ing. . .

Happy Teacher's Day =D

Wanna wish all great teachers.. "Happy Teacher's Day!"
Thanks for all your guidance and efforts.
All my teachers are rweally great!!

Now fer sum updates.

Wednesday -- Teacher's Day Eve
It felt lyke a Friday that day,
fer sum unknown reasons.
Went shopping fer sum gifts..
Got two dvds n went on the way home with Flor.
Met my darling Minglin at Woodlands Interchange.
Such great coincidence!
Three of us just stood in the middle of nowhere and started chitchatting.
Hehehs. Dey were the mad ones.
NOT ME!! =P
Miss minglin sososo much.
It's been so long since I've a proper chat with her, and not to say, going out with her.
Haish.
Anewaes, am so happy to know that she's happily attached.
At night, after dinner, me n flor just went mad singing in the room.
hehehs. Future Stars=D
This is not bhb-ism.
It's known as CONFIDENCE=D

Thursday -- Teacher's Day
The concert.. hehehs.. cldn't rweally make it lahs.
Evan's band didn't get to perform at their full potential.
Due to the POOR sound system. argh!
But szemin's voice wus rweally POWER.
Other performances were so-so only lahs.
The dance club's dance wus guys'-attention-grasping, but it's not really a good dance lorhs.
Met up with darling Celest, boon n jingyi to make our way back to BPGHS.
SUZY and Mr. KUEK REMEMBER ME!
Didn't expect them to. tot I wus a pretty low-profiled GOOD student.=P
Cld recognise all the teachers despite my poor memory.
Walked ard school to relive the old feelings..
Visited the NPCC rm wif boon n jingyi, but it wus locked.
Went to the classrooms, but it wus occupied.
Hung ard at courtyard and waited fer the guys to make up their minds.
Saw a couple of junior ex bpians.
Den we walked all the way to lot one with boon playing 'ji ba ban' on his hp.
Ate brekkie at Mac.
Den Home Sweet Home; not in the mood to go out.

Became kinda anti-social recently.
Just not rweally in the mood of mingling around, I guess?
I know I'm normally extremely sociable.. but due to me being a 'mixed-horo',
yups. there are certainly days where I just wanna be left alone.

`the emptiness in me is becoming too much for me to handle . .

** WEEKENDS are here again **

Yayness!
It's the weekends.
Actually, I have nothing to look forward to anymore.
Feeling kinda pointless.
Todae, Mr. Yeo gave an examination prep talk.
"War is not a priority; it's the ONLY priority."
I knew it, I understood it.
But, sumhow I would not do it.
For some unknown reasons, he would still remain as my top priority.
Even though I know how important the next seventy days meant to me.
Haish.
I feel so dumb.

Found this at friendster again.
Entitled as what gurls want n what most guys won't do.
How true is it depends on each individual, I guess?

`Leave her cute text msges.this wud definitely brighten up her day n make her smile.
`Kiss her in front of your friends.makes her feel cherished.
`Trust her over everyone else.it meant so much more than anething else to be trusted.
`Tell her she looks beautiful.say it truthfully n sincerely.
`Look her in the eye when you talk to her.it's a form of respect n she can feel ur sincerity.
`Tell her stupid jokes to make her laugh.she wud be happy no matter how dumb the jokes are.
`Let her mess with your hair.it's a form of affection.
`Just walk around with her.even if you find it dumb, she's just trying to spend more time with you.
`Include her in everything you do.no gurl wud wanna feel neglected, since you're always her top priority.
`When she cries, do whatever it takes to make her smile.it wud mean alot to her.
`Forgive her for her mistakes.rmb her fer all the sweet things she does fer you, not dwell on small mistakes.
`Look at her lyke she's the only gurl you see.all gurls wud want that.
`Hold her hand even when you are with your friends.it's not a sin to hold hands wen your friends are ard.
`Let her fall asleep in your arms.make her feel loved n secured.
`Get her mad and then kiss her.she wud smile eventually.
`Stay up with her when she's sick.she wud appreciate it n love you more.
`Give her the world.no hesitations.
`Write letters to her.it wud mean alot to her. letters are good ways of communication.
`When she is sad, hang out with her.that's the only thing she wants.
`Let her know that she's important.gurls always need assurance.
`Let her take all the photos of you she wants.she only wants to have memories of you esp when you are not goin to be ard.
`Call her every night.it wud give her sumthing to look forward to everyday.
`Kiss her in the rain.romantic, isn't it?
`Love her like you'd never loved before.'cause she's alrdy doing that.

Going off now.
I wanna learn to concentrate.
No more distractions.
tata~

Fun Nightout

Ysd was great!
MORE than great.
It's been so long since we hung out.
All seven of us=)
It was a happy night out.

Let rewind alittle.
In the morning, we gave the nice photoframe with the picture collage to leen, the burfday gurl.
Sum tramautizing events took place right after.
Our good 'sister' touched baba's hands and hugged leen.
Causing them to run out of class and headed fer the toilet at lightning spees.
See how powerful our good 'sister' is?

Had maths test.
Quite easy, I guess.
Just wish I can pass nicely=)
Den went over to the grandstand fer Sports Meet.
hmms. Darwinian runners were great, but some still lost to the Owens runners.
What a waste!
I wasn't really enjoying the whole thing 'cause good 'sister' was so close to me.
And she was freakingly high.
Not to say being enthu is a bad thing, but her enthusiasm is weird.
Okay, biased point of view, I know.
Got so suffocated that eventually I moved over to sit with Spidey.
Wanted to get FEI to save me de.
But he was so faraway.

After Sports Meet, we headed fer Clarke Quay.
Wanted to have Chocolate Fondue.
But they didnt have it.
Shit lah.
And I just stood there, terrorising the waiter.
Hehehs.
Can't blame me; I was just too disappointed.
Walked to Hans Place fer dinner eventually.
It's eight plus then.
And everyone was worn n famished after all the walking, crazy phototaking.
Urms.. Didn't quite lyke the food.
The quality still have lotsa room fer improvements.
Hehehs.

Hmms.. Served leen's bday cake to her whilst she was still going mad in her game.
Poor gurl.
She was tortured by all of us.
BUT esp, the demoness of stupidity.
And that's none other than my darling.
Ohh!! She love the adidas jacket!!
Yayness! =D
Then came the emo part,
Leen just had to start giving emo speech.
Caused me to tear.
Argh.
Everyone was super high ther lah.
My darling, eileen, von n liyi were all going so mad even before they drank alcohol.
Can't imagine what wud happen if they did.

Took lotsa nice pictures lahs.
Shall upload them with my next entry.
Am sleepy now.
Was woken up by the construction work.
And I slept rather late THIS MORN!!
Shitto!
Am contemplating whether to move out temporarily during my preparation fer exams n my exam period.
I'll die of sleep deficiency!
If ever there is such a term.
Heheh.
Prelims are NEAR-ing.
And I'm dead-ed.=(

Saw this at my dearest baba's blog. And so, decided to do it fer fun. hehe.

The rules: Bold the statements that are true to you. Italise the statements that you WISH are true. Leave the Fibs alone. Then, stab 5 people to do the same test.(:

I miss somebody right now. missing my boyfren.
I don’t want TeeVee these days.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
USUALLY I curse sometimes.
I have changed alot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.wishing hard.
I've broken someone’s bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I like sushi.love them in fact.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have alot of moodswings.quite a fair bit, i guess.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.that's jus me!
I have alot of friends.love dem all=D
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.yupyups. esp with my boyfren.
I practically live in trackpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.which gurl doesn't?
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.and i can't live w/o it.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I have no idea what i want to do with the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.aww.. kids are so adorable!!
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.yayness! =D
I have alot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I would die for my best friends.
I think Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it.
I am happy at this moment.
I'm obsessed with guys.correction:Guy. only my boyfren.
I study for tests most of the time.i'm a slacker.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met.
I am comfortable with who i am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot whenever i can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.it's so ridiculous that you wudnt wan to knoe.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I work at McDonald’s restaurant.
I hate office jobs.yesyesyes!! absolutely!
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I want to go to a college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses.frm my dear, tt's. And hugs frm ppl I lyke.
I fell for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I can't whistle.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal i’ve written in.
I can't stick to a diet.it's sad, isn't it?
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.idont hafta do tt. Haf got a sucky memory.
Climbing trees are a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tatoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that i work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, the more nonsensical the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.

And so, I m stabbing.. Weiquan, eileen, peiling, kaijie n eric =D

*deeply hurtx*

I cried.
This time, it was subconsciously that I did so.
Tears flowed ever so naturally.
Perhaps, 'cause my heart was hurting badly?
Perhaps, it's 'cause it hurts me to see my darlings cry?
Perhaps. . .

Things just suck so badly.
And, it's only now when you come to realise how much frens care.
Even simple msges mean alot.
Daily goodnite msges frm junhao senior.
To some, it may be merely a simple gesture.
But at least, in times of darkest, you know that there is someone who rmbs you.
Even a short msg of concern matters alot to me.
" Are you ok?" , " You forgot to smile today."
Gonna thank khaiboon n kaijie.
Am really touched.
At least, people still care.
At least, these people are still around.
They are the ones who allow me to continue hoping..
And I thank God fer them.

`besides loneliness, feeling unloved is the next worst feeling.

*pictures!!*

My best-est, great-est, prett-iest gurlfrens =D
Yvonne n me! *my darLing bestie*
me n stEr *my dear bestie*
BABA n ABAB!! *grins* - her smile is so nice!!
Florence n me! *my kbox buddy*

**national day eve**

National day eve.
Okay. It's not my country's national day.
BUt heys, I've spent half my existing lifetime here in Singapore.
And what's more, it's here that I met great people, great friends =D
And so, I must say,
I LOVE SINGAPORE ! =DD *grins*

argh. wanted to upload pretty pics here.
But blogger got sum dumb probs.
Sianned.
Kinda enjoyed this year celebration.
Me n flor were busy cam-whoring while the VIPs were making their entrance
And you noe what?
Spidey appeared in every single photo lahs
*ling yi zhao pian* -'ghostly appearance' *evil grins*
And me n flor kept bothering him with our singing.
Evil us.
But he didn't seem to mind, so alright lorh.

OKay.
I am feeling very sleepy now.
But, I'm goin to go write a testimonial fer Spidey, before I go play chess with Zhou Gong.
BUhbye.

*forcedsmile*

Lost my smiles.
As in, really smiling right from the heart.
Miss those happy feelings..
Can anyone tell me where can I find them back?
Feel so jaded now. =,(
Can sumone please help me?

`imissyouso.

=DD

HELLO!
hello! hello! hello!
I am just home from the night study programme!
Felt so much of an achievement...
First time, I did so much homework lehs.
Even Paul says, he is proud of me.
*grins*

Boyfren is proud of me too!
Lurves him so much.
My boyfren is the best!
His msges.. *heex*
Miss him sososo muchie..
oh. I think I am lovesick *hugs*

Yayness!
Tomorrow's Friday.
the DAY before the WEEKENDS!
*grinsss*
So happy!! ^^
Finally, can get some well-deserved rest.
Been feeling so burned out recently.
Though, changing is tough, but I'll strive on.
It's SMU, not SIM. *hehe*

`imissmyboyfren.

*bored expression*

Tuesdays are boring.
Total boredom.
Had tough rugby todae again.
Love the sun!! *smiles*
Got rather burnt, though.
Ran with my darling and did situps too..
Wus abit exhausted since I haven been exercising much lately.
Plus, I'm still recovering from a thigh injury. =(
And I actually agreed to sprint with Flor.
I must be MAD.

Decided to do this to pass time.
Not in the mood to study anewaes.

1. what do you do when you're mad?
~ I'll get very cranky. And would be rather tactless with my words. *beware!!*

2. what's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?
~ Can't really rmb.

3. ever made anyone cry when you were mad?
~ Urms. Don't think so. I am not that powDERful *heh*

4. ever physically hurt someone when you were mad?
~ ehhs. Nopes. Am rather civilised=D

5. do you curse when you're mad?
~ nahs. don't like.

*Crying Section*

1. last time you cried your heart out ?
~ can't remember. But it's recently.

2. ever cried yourself to sleep?
~ sadly, yes.

3. ever cried on your friend's shoulder?
~nopes. no one wans to lend me.

4. do you cry when you get an injury?
~if it hurts lahs.

5. do certain songs make you cry?
~ yups.

*Pain Section*.

1. what's the worst thing you've done tosomebodyelse?
~Made sumone cried?

2. how depressed can you get?
~ depressed to the extent that I just shut myself out from the rest of the world n not tok.

Happy Section*

1. how much do u smile?
~ everyday =DD

2. what can make you happy?
~ feeling loved by everyone =)

3. do you wish you were happier?
~ haha. whu doesn't?

4. what about being with your friends, does thatmake u happy?
~Yups yups!! Ofcourse! =)

*Love Section*.

1. have you ever loved someone so much, thatyou'd die for them?
~ hmms.. literally yes. hmms.. maeb bahs..

2. did you ever love a person, and tell him/herthat you love him/her?
~yes.

3. have you loved someone so much, it made youcry?
~ haha. yups.

4. has anyone besides your friends and familyeversaid 'i love you' to you?
~ =)

*Self-Esteem Section*

1. is your self-esteem extremely low?
~ not really.

2. do you believe in yourself?
~yups

3. what do you say when people say they thinkyou are good looking/pretty?
~are you mad?

4. are you one of those idiots that think they areugly, dumb, and fat?
~ haha. maeb?

5. ever wanted to kill yourself cuz you thoughtyou weren't good enough?
~ NO.

6. are you happy with who you are?
~ yups=D uniquely me!

Goin off lers.. hais..
Miss SOMEBODY so much.

*huRtx*

Felt so dumb.
So guilty of everything.
Regretted saying all those shit.
I'm so dumb.
Hais. I deserved to be feeling the pain afterall.
Hate myself...

Must thank Ian fer waiting fer me.
Thank yew fer the selfmade candle.
It's going into my collection.
Next time, don't be so silly okays?
I will be fine de lahs.
All the best to you n yur gurlfren =)

`I hate myself fer being so tactless . . . perhaps I should just shut up forever . . .

* I'm a failure *

I'm feeling lyke a failure right now.
Blow after blow.
Don't know how long I can hold on to everything.
Seriously, I'm feeling lyke a complete failure.
Not that I have lost all my confidence.
Just feeling so weak to carry on.
Just feeling so discouraged and all.
But yarhs, things are going to be all over in three months time.

It's one month till prelims.
95 more days till A lvls.
Time's running out.
And I know I hafta get thru everything no matter how hard it is.
I'm mugging hard right now.
Kinda hard fer me to transform frm a slacker to a mugger.
But I rmbed dennis yeo's lect on fri.
"Are you hungry?" "how hungry are you?"
I'll survive =)

Hmms.. Wus listening to this old but nice song.. =)

My heart says we've got something real
Can I trust the way I feel
Cuz my heart's been through it before
Am I'm just seeing what I want to see
Or is it true
Could you really be

[Chorus:]
Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
I need to know
Before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
(Who warns) my ups and downs
So tell me now
Before I fall in love

[Verse 2:]And I'm at the point of no return
So afraid of getting burned
But I wanna take a chance
Oh please
Give me a reason to believe
Say you're the one that you'll always be
Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
I need to know
Before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
(Who warns) my ups and downs
So tell me now
Before I fall in love

[Bridge:]
It's been so hard for me
To give my heart away
But I would give my everything
Just to hear you say...
Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
I need to know
Before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
(Who warns) my ups and downs
So tell me now
Before I fall in love . . . . . .

Such nice lyrics.. =)

`I miss him =(

* survivor of thursday *

Alrights. Guess Wquan wud be darn pleased.
Just taken the password off. *heh*
BUT! It's not fer your sake d lorhs.
It's for the convenience of anyone else but you.
Haha.

Found this on a friend's blog.
And felt lyke doing it since I am kinda bored.

Can you name 11 people you can thinkof right off the top of your head? Don't read thequestions underneath until you write the names of all 11 people...This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list the names first...No Cheating!!!

1) Jeremy
2) Yvonne
3) Esther
4) Peiling
5) Weiquan
6) Khaiboon
7) Kai Jie
8) Evan
9) Ken
10) Zester
11) Florence

How did you meet 10?
`Secondary schmates?

What would you do if you had never met 6?
`there is nth I can do abt that right? it wud mean that I have one less great guyfren =)

What would you do if 6 and 2 dated?
Urms.. kinda impossible.. But I think it wud be interesting to see?

Have you ever seen 4 cry?
urms.. ya.. at the carnival thing that I got her into.

Do you think 1 is handsome?
my honey!! of course=D

Tell me something about number 11:
she is obsessed! heh

How do you know 8?
current classmate

Would you ever go on a date with number 5?
wahh? dun think so.. haha..

What's 7's favorite color?
yellow n black.. haha..

What would you do if 6 confessed they liked you?
*faints* 'cause it's impossible?

Fact about 9:
he's a 'fisherman'

Who is 4 going out with?
ME! she's MINE! =D

who is number 5 to you?
a great guyfren =D

Would you ever live with 11??
why not? I wun mind. ha

Is 2 single?
yes..she's mine too =)

Where does 7 live?
in choa chu kang..

What do you think about 3?
super gentle n sweet gurl=D

What's the best thing about number 8?
urms. I am not sure lehs.

What do you like about number 10?
ehh.. his determination when it cums to mugging?

Favorite Memory with 2?
kboxing sessions n my BDAY.

Finally done!! haha.
Am going fer dinner soon..
Having quite a bad headache.. *sobx*
OH! tml, my two darlings are cuming over to my plc fer a great time =D Wee!!! *hapi hapi*

* mixed feelings *

Hmms. Today is an OKAY day.
My GP tutor didn't come.
Basically, had three and a half hour of BREAK fer todae.
Super relaxed day *grinx*
Had bioethic lect by sum old man after sch.
Wus alright lahs.
I wasn't really listening anewaes *heex*
Wus busy looking at people falling asleep *evil grinx*
Stayed back after sch, tot that Fei wld be running fer the trial.
But he didn't; so I just hung ard and slacked while flor n peipei mugged on.
Wasn't in the mood to study aneways.

Hmms. Went meet daddy after I left sch.
Hung ard at CWP.
When we finally got on our way home, it was already SEVEN-THIRTY.
I was lyke, "oh my tian"...
Den wanted to rush home immediately, but this guy walked past me.
Found him rather familiar.. so I stared unpolitely. *heh*
He noticed me n turned back..
He gave me his killer smile!! *melts*
And he remembered me!!
I still can't believe that I actually met kaijie by such coincidence lahs.
It's been lyke two years lers..
Ohh.. He's my ex-colleagues..
And he is the veryveryveryvery superduper cute version of Fei.
Nono.. I'm not thinking of fishing now.
Heheh.. Just happy that I met him again =D

Going to do my GP homework lers.
buh-bye~

*boring tuesday*

Kinda realised that I quite lyke the font Verdana fer a change. haha. So round n big =D

Oh wells. Todae's a long boring tuesday.
Had many many lessons todae.
The thing is, I didn't fall asleep at all.
Not even a sense of sleepness throughout the day.
Just mere restlessness.
Had morn assembly in the hall again.
Much to Flor's delight.
It wus pouring lahs.
Nearly had to get help frm the guys again.
Hmms. My neck is gettin worse, I guess.
Too much ogling at cute guys *haha*
That's what pei said.
But.. not true lahs.. haha..
There are NO cute guys ard.
PE wus great.
Except fer my blur-ness during the game.
And the SUNBURNT.
By right, I shldn't get sunburnt so easily de.
It must be 'cause I have been away from the sun fer too long.
HAISH.

Got lotsa practices that I have to do.
Been feeling down.
Gastric pains.
Losing sleep *argh*
And crying myself to sleep too *hais*
Realised that I shldn't be bothered too much anemore.
No point.
Am going to change my hp number again pretty soon, I guess.
Can I choose to be happy forever?

Am going back to studying now.
Sumhow, I wish I would fall REALLY SICK.
Then I can have a good rest and not care about anething.
I must be mad.
Maybe I really am. *shrugs*

=(

xin's tired
TIRED
TIREDDDDDDD.......... ='(

*am too bored*

xin has been too bored after doing her testimonial on the school portal
and came across this nice friendster bulletin post which she thinks it's rather sweet . . .

A girl talking to her BF by the roadside . . . . . .
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No...
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: Not really...
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: Nope
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: Hell No...
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: Of coz no...
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No...
Girl: What would you choose: your life..or me?
Boy: I choose My Life

The girl runs away with such shock and pain in her heart
but the boy runs after her and shouted loudly....

"The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind...
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you...
The reason I don't want you is because I need you...
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left me...
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you...
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you...
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

So sweet right? haha. =D
Do all guys do that?
haha.
As in, saying sumthing when they meant another?
Anewaes, this is to everyone out there,
Tell her/him ' I love you' everyday for fear that tomorrow is not another . . .

*blank*

It wus supposedly a great day.
'cause I got to meet my bf,
And got to spend sum quality time with him.
Wus really really hapi with him ard.
love him so so so much.

But, I hate the state I'm in right now.
I'm totally stressed out.
By everything..
First, I'm worried about my brother.
My real blood relations bro.
I don't dare to face him now 'cause of my phobia fer piercings..
Argh..
Am worried that he would be in bad company and stuffs.

Next, I stil hate the state I'm in.
Am still stressed out.
Maybe worse...
My A lvls are cuming..
And I'm finding it hard to conc with all the ongoing stuffs.
I hate the TAXI policy
If you get what I mean, you don't, then forget it.
Used to enjoy it..
Not that it brings about temptations..
It's just VERY troublesome...
It spoils friendships..
HATE IT!!
Can you please let me go..?
It's no point holding on any longer..
Let me go.. please?

Perhaps I just need sum time alone to think about everything.. I am tired...

hapihapisaturday!!

Hapihapisaturday!!

Went out wif celest, boon, wquan, keatkee n zester.
Ben didn't turn up *shrugs*
The guys were quite shy initially.
So not their usual self lahs.
haha. But it was fun though.
Seeing them bickering awae.
Giving each other's secrets away while me n celest listen on.
Did sum duet wif boon n zes.
*claps* they were not bad wors =)
Did a couple of jay chou's songs with wquan
I didn't noe he cld sing wors. haha.
It wus a pleasant surprise though=)
Sang with my darling celest too =)
Took sum nicenice neoprints!!
SO FUN!! =DD

Sumhow, seeing everyone crapping awae.
Shooting each other with vulgarities..
All those immature acts in the kbox..
Sumhow, it didn't as though we all have been awae frm one another fer very long..
The feelings n all were just so familiar..
At times, when school gets too boring and dead fer me..
I would realise that I am actually missing these good frens of mine.
Miss all those good times =)

Met up with von after that. hmms. 'cause Jer cldnt make it. oh wells. Went shoe-shopping with von. It wus lotsa fun!! haha. Saw this pair of reali nice looking flats. Oh my tian. haha. Got the urge to buy lorhs. haha. haha. hmms. Had a nice dinner after getting what von wants. And then we met a couple of interesting people. Pretty friendly though. =)

`the day would haf been so much happier with him. It's been 22days lers..='(

*04UNzip*

Let me explain the title of this entry. haha. I'm finally meeting up with sum unzippers that I haven been goin out with fer a LONG LONG time. Hehehx. Especially Celestine. Haven gone out with her fer ages. A year and seven months le lorhs. While wquan, boon, zes, keatkee, it's just seven months. haha. Feel so guilty towards my darling celest. hehehx. But yups, we are finally meeting up TML! *so looking forward!!*

hmms. now fer the usual boring updates of my life...

1. I flunk my midyears.
2. It's been three weeks since I met up with my boyfren *sighs*
3. Been very cranky recently.
4. On-off fevers *hate it*
5. I'm finally going to step down from my post.
6. Cried two times fer Flor n Helmi.
7. Went to keep my darling Peiling company while she did her last day of CIP.
8. Met an adorable kid whu sat down beside me n refused to leave *heex*

Think that's about it bahs. haha. Had so much fun in the library today though I wus having abit of a headache still. Adorable kids just rawk my life =D OH yarhs, wus toking to Peiling n Yvonne abt our dear 'sister' 's bdae. No sarcasm orite? I am just not disclosing her name here. hmms. I've been having the urge to tell about the truth as to why everyone don't wana be with her or even around. I just feel so hypocrtitical, everytime I had to just smile fakely, act normally even though I was way disgusted about her behaviour. Heys. I am badly tramautised, just sitting beside her during lects, even if it's just fer an hour. It's scary lorhs. I guess everyone shld get what I mean. I don't mean to be evil or what. If I had intended to be evil, I would have just yell at her each time she starts doing it. Shouldn't we tell her nicely? I know she might cry. But the truth always hurts. And, if she's going out to the society to work, people won't be able to stand her either. And things won't be any better then. I guess, I would tell her soon. Stop my agony. As well as everyone's. And to help her be a more acceptable person.

Gona go off lers. Promise honey that I would do my practices. =)

`If I die, would you cry? If I stab myself, would you feel the pain?

Past and Present Day

Today's Pjc's Past and Present Day. haha. Went back to school early in the morn to support sanjay n evan's band. They were so fabulous! Great guitarists. Great drummer. N a great vocalist! The vocalist has a superb voice that can beat every single one of the contestant left on the Singapore Idol lahs. I can vouch fer that. And it's not very often that you hear such good comments from me. Usually, I'm very critical towards singers. But her, I have nothing to say. =)

Went to buy alcohol wif flor after the band thingy. haha. Den walked to her void deck to drink n have a heart-to-heart talk.=DD hmms. Den walked all the way back to lot one fer dinner. haha. Went home after that. And you know what?!! haha. I saw sumone. And the sumone saw me jus when I turned lorhs. haha. Just smiled n waved. =DD And another coincidence is that that sumone wus wearing the same jersey as me!! oh my tian lahs.. haha.. But ya.. nth much lahs. Jus abit high 'cause it wus so much of a coincidence. Nothing more than that. =)

hmms.. anewaes, I am feeling SAD! I got a big fat F fer my maths. argh. Am so dead. I just feel so stupid. Maybe, I really am. =(

Portugal vs France

Let me start off with the good news first kays? =DD
1. The freaking midyears are OVER!! *FREEDOM!*
2. No more worrying about sleepless nights!!
3. I have four and a half days of HOLIDAYS!! ~ *aren't you jealous of me?*
4. It's smart and casual day on MONDAY!! *no more penguins outfit.*
5. World Cup Final is on Monday!! *wahahah*
6. The best-est thing of all, I get to report LATE fer school on Monday!! *whee~*
*I'm overly hyper today! =D

hmms. Now, fer the not-so-good stuffs. argh.
1. No meeting Jer anemore.
2. Jer's exams are cuming *meaning that he'll have even LESSER time fer me=( *
3. I'm dying from lovesickness *sobssobs*
4. There is no official school holiday on Monday *can't risk ponning klass again.. gona get blacklisted veri soon*
5. Getting back the freaking papers on Monday?!! *why are teachers so freakingly efficient when it comes to letting us face our fears?*
6. I'm so going to flunk my midyears *No doubt about it*
7. Going to have tea in the Principal's Office veri soon. *Actually, I prefer coffee=D hehe*
8. It's 3 more months to PRELIMS
9. FOUR more months to A lvls *eww..*
10. And FOUR MORE MONTHS till FREEDOM is a LONG LONG time :( *goes crazy*

Yups. that's about it fer the updates. oh yarhs!! A reminder to all! Saturday's preformance must turn up wors!! My dear fren, Peiling's sanjiii, Flor's honeyyy is performing. And not forgetting our dear philosophical EVAN!! =DD alrights. Be sure to turn up fer a great time kays? =)

*sadexpression*

What is there to be said?
Been rather sick these few days..
Feeling giddy... Feverish n all..
All I can do, is sleep n sleep n stil SLEEP.
But all those sleeping seems to be doing me more harm than good.
argh.
True, I have been sleeping alot.
But NOT WELL.
Sobs..
Been drifting in and out of sleep.
This is so BAD!
I'm feeling weaker n sick-er by the day.
This simply sucks.
sobs...

Hmms. Tml's econs papers. FYI, I haven't hit my books yet. Don't think I ever will. Am too sick to absorb any information into my drowsy brain right now. Hais. Oh mans. Think I'm worse off than jus being dead fer this midyears. ha. Things aren't really going well fer me at this point of time. hais. Just feeling lost. oh wells. Back to resting. tata~

xin's back!

the german n argentina match is on right now. haha. My living room is in a mess. Rowdy guys. Almost drunk. Tsk! Current score: 1-1 Oh wells. I need a break from the rowdiness and alcoholic smell there. haha. That's why I am blogging fer awhile=D

Hmms. Its been awhile since I blogged. Nothing much is happening in my life, I guess. Mid-year exams are ending soon. I'm kinda slowly getting back on track. I need lotsa motivation! hais. *shrugs* It's five more months to FREEDOM! Whee~

Went towning todae. Jer wanted to meet me. But HAIS. It didn't work out. Shucks. I miss him sososososo much lahs. *sobs* Saw alot of ppl in town. Sorry ppl. I'm not really in a very sociable mood todae, 'cause I'm missing sumone far too much. =( hais. He's out wif his frens watching the match while I'm stuck home with the rowdy guys. HAIS!

*short interruption: second half jus ended: 1-1. extra time starting in awhile.. Noise level increasing.. Sum of the drunk n rowdy guys just lost money..wahahah..I am evil=Pp*

hmms. I'm returning to the tv soon. Just saw this veri meaningful nick which just popped up.. "Real tears are not those that fall from the eyes and cover the face, but those that fall from the heart and cover the soul." Oh mans.. this is sooo.. true, I guess? =) Enjoy the matches, guys=) Dun gamble too much. =DD